


Pass It On

by LoneStorm



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Valentine's Day, but ends happy!, need that angst, really not very heavy story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-03-23 02:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13777959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoneStorm/pseuds/LoneStorm
Summary: She grabbed his arm and forced his hand to close around the thornless stem. "Go find someone to give it to. Pass on an act of love, will you?"- For Rivendell101's birthday and Valentine's Day.





	1. Part 1

“But I just don’t know what to get her and I mean we’re going out to dinner but is flowers too cliche or is there something that she’d rather have that she’s mentioned to you Mira oh my gosh I’m the worst boyfriend ever I never know what to do for her and she’s so perfect with gifts every time I mean they used to be creepy gifts but she got better and I haven’t-”

Natsu couldn’t stand it anymore.  He slammed his tankard onto the countertop of the Fairy Tail bar.  “Fullbuster, would ya mind _shuttin’ your bullshit pourin’ trap_ for _five minutes_ so that a man can have a _drink around here_ without hearing _yammerin’_ about Juvia?”

He lazily ducked Gray’s fist that flew at his head, eyes narrowed in irritation.  Mira, the white-haired waitress across the bar, was still smiling, if not with a more exasperated expression.  “Natsu, it’s almost Valentine’s Day!  Gray is allowed his little anxieties about it.  When you have a girlfriend, you might understand.”

Muttering something incoherent about not needing a girlfriend if it made him act as pathetic as Gray, he took another long swig.  “I came here for a guy’s night, and here he is, wettin’ himself over a woman.”

They’d finally been able to leave the station after their latest homicide case which had turned out to be rather depressing--another romance gone bad and some crazy killing their ex and shoving them, headless, into a bookcase.  (The smell itself put Natsu off books probably for life.)  He’d hoped for a night out with the guys on his team to get it off their minds.  And here Gray was, going on about his creepy girlfriend in the FBI.  Okay, well she was pretty sweet, always bringing enough food for all of the boys to share, but the fact that she was partners with that nosy, metal-faced Redfox guy...

“Gonna have to agree with pyro freak on that one,” Laxus, the director, grumbled from the other side of them.  “Just chill, man.  Your girl would worship a gum wrapper if you handed it to her.”

“Can’t go wrong with chocolate and some wine to get her in the right mood,” Loke suggested from Natsu’s right.  “Aries and I are doing a picnic and for a little moonlit canoe ride on the lake.”

“Erza wanted to go to the place in town with the best cake and out to see the new ninja movie,” Jellal piped up, swirling his soda from down the counter.  “Got her a new dagger and made her some chocolate-covered strawberries.  It doesn’t have to be hard, Gray.”

Natsu groaned.  “You guys are _gross_.”

“Says the only single guy here,” Gray muttered with a smirk.

“I’m gonna have a nice time without Fullbuster being a moron in the flat on the fourteenth, eating like all the junk food that exists and beating all of his scores on _Empire of Alvarez_ ,” Natsu declared indifferently.  

“You,” Loke told him slowly, “are the singlest-single man I have ever met.  Dude, go find a girl.  Seriously.  You are twenty-seven.  Get out of your damn flat.”

“A bit busy arresting homicidal maniacs, sorry.”  Natsu rolled his eyes, finishing off the last of his drink and wiping his mouth with his sleeve.  “And I swear, almost a half of them were previously dating the person they killed.   _No thank you_.”

“So don’t date a homicidal maniac,” Laxus suggested helpfully.

Mirajane replaced Natsu’s empty mug with water and winked at him.  “I could always set you up with a date.  I know several cute girls-”

“No,” Natsu said dully.  

She pouted.  “You know, it wouldn’t be hard for you to get a girlfriend.  You're fit, and you can pull of that pink hair like no guy should be able to.  You were always _very_ cute, and then puberty hit you like a sexy freight train.”  

Natsu blinked several times, feeling a bit of heat flood his cheeks.  “Shaddup,” he mumbled into his glass of water.  

“Go easy on the boy, Mira,” Gray sighed.  “If someone tried to _actually_ flirt with him he’d probably implode.  He hasn’t even kissed a giiiiiiiirl-”

He elbowed Gray hard in the gut.  “I thought I said not to tell anyone about that!” he hissed.

But the Loke had already choked on his scotch, Laxus burst out laughing, and Jellal, the slightly politer one, put up an arm to hide his giggles from view.  Natsu pulled his scarf up a bit over his face.  

“Ah, our hopeless, little, innocent cinnamon roll.”  Loke patted his head like a parent complimenting their five-year-old on his “artwork.”

Natsu scowled, slapping Loke’s hand away.  “I am a black belt in three martial arts, I’ve served over two years in the Marines, and seen over forty dead bodies.  I make fires for fun.  I _dare you_ to call me an innocent cinnamon roll ever again.”

“Girls dig military and detective guys,” Laxus offered.  “Go find one.  Don’t stay a date-virgin for the rest of your life.”

“So what if I haven’t been on a date before?” grumbled Natsu.  “The only women I see on a regular basis are the scary ones that are dating my friends or ones trying to kill me.”

Gray put down his beer to rub his temples.  “Dude, there are at least several hundred million single females on this planet.  I doubt finding one that isn’t a psycho murderer should be that difficult for Mr. Marine-Sherlock-Jackie Chan.”

“Just piss off, already, okay?  Mira, I think I’ll need that whiskey.”  

“I’m cutting you off,” she sniffed instead, turning her back to him.  “No.”

Natsu sputtered, “But I’ve only had one drink!”

“You’re a pathetic lightweight,” his teammates chorused, simultaneously taking a chug.

Natsu glared at the wall, muttering, “Why the hell do I ever leave my flat?”

* * *

Though he tried to keep to his promise of beating all of Gray’s scores on Xbox, Natsu lost heart halfway through after he tried the same level three times without success.  With a frustrated huff, he turned off the TV and threw the remote onto the ottoman.  His blue cat, Happy, gave out a little “mew” and crawled beside Natsu’s slouching form.  

Gray had been out the whole day with Juvia for the special date; it was nearly eight-thirty and already dark outside.  While his flatmate annoyed the crap out of him on a regular basis, without his irritatingness around it was also so… _quiet_.  The silence made an uncomfortable itch in his chest.  He just had to get out of there.

He stood, absently scratching Happy behind the ears before throwing on his leather jacket and shoving his wallet and phone in his pocket.  A walk was all he needed.  Maybe a cheeseburger or two.

After jamming a hat on his head and locking the door behind him, Natsu shoved his hands in his pockets and pulled his scarf up over his nose to block the oncoming cold.  When he walked outside the building, he was greeted with the sight of two of the girls that lived in the broken-down apartment building next to his flat.  Fraternal twins, teenagers, Chelia and Wendy.  Wendy was holding a basket of roses, Chelia a sign advertising a dollar per rose.  

“You’re cold, Wendy,” Chelia said, putting a mittened hand on her sister’s shoulder.  “We should go back inside.”

“I'm almost done selling these!” insisted Wendy, gripping her basket more tightly in shivering hands. Her dark, blue hair was spread over her shoulders as if to help keep warm.  “We have to make sure Mama gets a special dinner for Valentine’s day, like dad used to get her...”

Chelia sighed, saying, “At least get something more to wear.”

“You know we can’t afford the hats.  Just leave it; I’m fine.”

Natsu halted a few feet away from them, frowning.  Feeling his heartstrings tugged, he made his way over to them.  “Good evenin’ Wen.  Chels.”

They waved, their precious grins bright as always.  “Hi, Natsu!” the sisters said together.  

Wendy eagerly held out her basket.  “Would you like to buy a rose?”

“For that special someone todaaaaay…” Chelia giggled, poking him in the arm with little heart charms swinging from her pink pigtails.

Natsu tried to hide his grimace in his scarf.  Really?  Did everyone decide it was “rub it in how Natsu is twenty-seven and never had a girlfriend” week?  

The girls seemed to see his disgruntlement, and he could hear Wendy whisper to her sister, “I don’t think he has one, Chels.  Now he’s upset!”

“I’m not upset!” Natsu said quickly, hoping the warmth in his cheeks wasn’t visible.  “It’s fine.  Um, I’ll see if I have any cash…”

“S-sorry,” Chelia said.  “But I know you’ll find someone!  Love is the best thing in the world.”

Natsu only gave an attempt at a smile that probably came out more distasteful and pulled out a ten dollar bill and tucked it into Chelia’s pocket.  “Here.  I don’t have ones, so I hope this does the trick.  And-”  He tugged off his hat and plopped it onto Wendy’s head.  “You shouldn’t go catchin’ a cold for some roses.  Keep it.”

“I-I couldn’t-!”

“Please,” he said.  “And n-no I don’t need the roses-”

“At least take one,” Wendy said firmly, holding out a perfect, red rose with some plastic, heart-patterned wrapping.  

Giving a helpless shrug, Natsu waved her off.  “I don’t have anyone to give it to.  Really, save it for others or your mom-”

Chelia grabbed his arm and forced his hand to close around the thornless stem.  “Go find someone to give it to.  Pass on an act of love, will you?”

Wendy was shyly pulling on the too-big hat so that it covered her ears.  Natsu had a bit of a weakness for big, brown eyes; he could no longer resist.  With a nod, he took the flower and gently tucked it into an inner pocket of his jacket, being sure not to crush the delicate petals.  “Thank you.  Happy Valentine’s Day, girls.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day!”

He gave a wave and hunched his shoulders up against the frigid wind, making his way three blocks away to Fairy Tail.

The bar and grill was warm, smell of hops and charcoal a familiar comfort.  There were only two couples as occupants of the place, Mira at the bar as always, wiping out some glasses.  Natsu made his way over to the far end of the bar stools, sitting by the windows so that he could see the lamplit city streets of Magnolia and hazy moon through the tall windows that displayed the cobblestone streets and cafe across the way.

Mira walked up to him, motherly smile decorating her face.  “Didn’t expect to see you in here today, Natsu.  Happy Valentine’s Day!”

He gave a nod and managed, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Mira.  Why aren’t you out with Laxus?”

“Oh, someone else had to be here tonight, and he and I usually wait a day to celebrate it so that the restaurants aren’t insanely crowded,” she explained, leaning over the counter.  “What would you like tonight?”

“Cheeseburger and fries with just some Coke would be nice, Mira, and get some food for yourself on my tab; you must be hungry.  Thanks.”

“So sweet of you, Natsu; thank you!  Coming right up,” she told him, ruffling his hair affectionately before getting him a drink.

Closing his eyes in some strange kind of exhaustion, he put his cheek onto his hand and stared dully out into the night.  The little cafe was sparse as well, only three tables occupied.  There was a lone girl at the small table by the closest window.  It struck him like a bullet how absolutely beautiful she was, with shimmering, blonde hair down her back and focused, brown eyes on her screen as she tapped away at a laptop.  She had a coffee beside her, steam rising to caress her smooth face.

“Pretty, isn’t she?”

Natsu snapped his gaze away and back to a smirking Mira who’d just set down his soda.  Muttering an incoherent answer, he took a sip rather than elaborate.  Ignoring his lax response, Mira said, “She’s one of my friends from college; a friend of Gray, Juvia, Erza, and Levy as well.  Her name is Lucy, and she just moved into town, living with Levy and Juvia.  I’m surprised you haven’t met her yet.”

Somewhere inside, interest perked up, but the rest of him stayed silent.  He might’ve had the chance to meet her, but since all of his friends were coupled up, it had gotten too uncomfortable to go out for some fun.  He’d only end up seventh wheeling.  Natsu hadn’t gone to hang out with all of them at once for… years.  But he’d never admit that to Mira, for she’d surely tease him like Loke the other day.

“Why is a girl that looks like _that_ alone on Valentine’s Day?” blurted Natsu, immediately regretting his question when Mira looked excited at it.  

“Oh, she is an _amazing_ girl, but guys always ask her out because of her looks and aren’t willing to get to know her enough,” Mirajane said, ending with a sad tone.

Catching himself staring again, Natsu quickly turned his gaze away.  “Well that’s lame.”

“Maybe you could change that…” Mira suggested lightly, raising her eyebrows hopefully.

“You guys need to stop,” Natsu muttered, pushing his soda away.

Instead of giggling, however, Mirajane’s face fell, a sigh escaping her lips as she put her elbows on the bar and face in her hands across from him.  “We’ve all been talking… Natsu, we just keep saying that stuff because we’re worried about you.  Ever since you came back from the military… You haven’t been the same, that’s all.  We miss the old Natsu, who was always cheery, outgoing, energetic…”

Natsu couldn't meet her eyes.  Of course he’d come back different.  He’d come home wounded with death on his heart, guilt on his mind, blood on his hands.  “People change.”

“Yes, but it’s not a _good_ change,” Mira continued, examining his face critically.  “You isolate, you stay too late at work like you’re trying to distract yourself, you act like you have a death wish out in the field, according to the guys, and you’re usually either on edge or have this sad look in your eyes.  We just think someone special could maybe bring a little light to your life.”  Mira gave a light laugh.  “The boys tease you, but really they just want you to be happy again.  I don’t remember the last time I saw you… actually smile.  Not laughing at something stupid--a _real_ smile, just because you were happy.  You had such a sweet smile.”

Clenching his jaw, Natsu snapped back, “I’m _fine_ .  It’s no one’s _buisness_ what I do with my life.”

“ _This_ is what I mean,” Mira sniffed.  “All snarly and defensive for no reason.”  She booped him on the nose with a finger.  “Maybe you should _make it_ someone’s business.”

Wincing in regret, he said, “Sorry, Mira.  I-I didn’t mean to sound like that.”

“I don’t take offense, but it concerns me.”  Her blue eyes softened.  “Ever since we were kids, you’ve been like a little brother to me.  War has changed you; it’s understandable.  But Natsu, you need to find someone to talk to about it.  Getting it out will help you move on from this depression you’re stuck in.”

“I’m not depressed,” he muttered.

“Quit with the denial.  At least promise me you’ll think about what I said?”

With a sigh, Natsu absentmindedly rubbed the back of his neck.  “Okay.  I’ll... think about it.”

Mirajane put a gentle hand through his hair and gave him a kiss on the forehead before going off to pick up his food from the kitchen.

Natsu couldn’t help but keep glancing out the window at the girl, Lucy.  Her coffee was almost gone, and she was still intent on her laptop so that she hadn’t looked elsewhere for the hour that he’d been eating.  Her sweater-like, red dress reached her mid-thigh, leggings covering the rest along with leather boots that had wool patterns inside them.  Lucy had a white beanie and a coat draped over the back of her chair.

He wondered about her, for some reason: what she was thinking, why she’d moved here, where she worked, what she was typing on that laptop, what movies she liked to watch, what her laugh was like, what she daydreamed about, which songs she sang along with on the radio, how that golden hair would feel slipping through his fingers…

She must’ve felt his gaze, because she finally looked up and over to the bar.  His eyes met hers and his heart skipped in embarrassment, quickly looking away.  Natsu put up an arm to scratch the back of his neck, glancing back.  Lucy was still watching him steadily, and when she saw the flash of his glance, she lifted a hand and waved with a small smile.  Feeling especially warm, he managed a jerky wave in return before pointedly looking at the opposite wall.

“Is that a _rose?_ ”

Mira was focused on the inner part of his jacket with interest.  Natsu hurriedly explained, “Th-there were these neighbor kids selling them to afford a nice dinner for their mom since their dad died earlier this year.  I gave money and didn’t want a rose but they kinda forced me to take it so… yeah.  I don’t really know what to do with it.”

Mira pointed out to the cafe suggestively, but Natsu only narrowed his eyes.  “I’m not gonna go give a flower to some girl I don’t know.  That would be creepy.”

“It would be sweet!” Mira insisted.  “It would really brighten her day.”

Chelia’s words echoed around in his head.   _Go find someone to give it to.  Pass on an act of love, will you?_

“I can’t just walk in there,” Natsu argued back weakly.

Mirajane slid around to his side of the bar and pulled him off the stool by his shoulders.  “You don’t need to--she’s leaving, and so are you!”

“Mira!” he yelped, struggling to hold onto the counter.  Mira was much stronger than she looked, and he didn’t want to hurt her accidentally by fighting it.  So Natsu grimaced and let himself be shoved outside with a “Happy Valentine’s Day!  Go get ‘er!” and a slam of the door.

Gulping in nerves, Natsu drew the rose from his pocket and stared at it for a moment before looking up.  Lucy was crossing the street towards him, pulling her scarf more tightly around her and hurrying past some cars.  Now or never.

Just as she passed him on the sidewalk, he lifted a hand and caught her by the arm, saying, “Hey-”

The girl gasped in surprise, tearing her arm free and stamping hard on his foot before swinging an elbow up at his face.  Giving a shout of pain, he ducked the elbow.  Lucy moved fast away from him, and he cursed, jogging with a limp after her.

“I’m sorry!” he stuttered, blabbering out, “I-I d-didn’t mean to s-scare you and I-I just wanted to- ugh, here!”

Before she could get away again, Natsu shoved the rose in front of her.  She finally stopped, blinking in confusion down at the flower.  After a couple of moments during which he didn’t breathe, Lucy took it from his hand and lightly touched the petals.

Her eyes were wide when she looked back up at him.  Oh, her voice was _perfect_.  “I’m so sorry!  I-I just reacted and-”

“N-no, don’t be,” he said quickly, wincing at his stupid stammering.  “I-I shouldn’t have… Sorry.”  He stopped talking abruptly and turned on his heel, rushing away as fast as he could without full-out running.

When he made it back to the flat, he slammed the door shut behind him and let out a long-suffering groan, turning to the left wall to set his arms and forehead up against it. _Stupid, stupid, stupid…_

“Congrats, Natsu,” he murmured to himself, gritting his teeth.  “First time talking to a woman that wasn’t a soldier, friend’s girlfriend, or murder suspect in about five years and you scare the hell out of her and run away.   _Fantastic_ job.”

A minute later, he heard footsteps and a bewildered, “Uhh… what are you _doing?_ ”

Natsu realized just then that he’d been talking to himself while banging his head against the wall.

He backed up quickly.  “Nothing.”  Natsu frowned.  “I didn’t know you were back… uh, how was the…?”

“Good,” Gray said, still looking a bit concerned.  “We had fun… You okay, man?”

“Fine,” he said, trying to make his voice as normal as possible.  “I think I’ll go to bed-”

“Where were you?” his roommate cut him off, walking up to the kitchen counter between them and taking a seat on the high stool with his forearms on the countertop.

“Just went to get somethin’ to eat at Fairy Tail.”

“And… how does this connect to you smashing your face against a wall?”

Natsu hesitated.  “Just did somethin’ dumb.  Not a big deal.”

He thought Gray would make a comment about how doing dumb things would be normal for Natsu, but he stayed quiet.  Then- “Juvia and I got somethin’ for you while we were out.”

Natsu was at a loss for words for a moment.  “You…  got something for me?”

“Well sure,” grumbled Gray, sifting through a bag Natsu hadn’t noticed on the table and pulling out a large box.  “We thought you might… well, here.”

Flipping the light switch on to better see the box, Natsu approached it and touched the top.  The plastic on front advertised a full kit of drawing, oil pastel, and acrylic painting materials.

“What’s this for?” Natsu said.

“Um, art?”

Natsu narrowed his eyes in exasperation.  Gray sighed.  “You used to draw and paint and stuff in high school; we figured it would be a good idea for you to get back into it, ya know?  Something for you to do for fun…”

“Thank you,” he replied, touched by the gesture, but then looked to his roommate suspiciously.  “You’ve been talking to Mira, haven’t you?  Dude, I already got the lecture about me apparently having mental issues-”

“ _I’m_ the one that brought that up to her in the first place,” Gray said, voice deepening in seriousness.  “I live with you, man.  I can tell when you’re depressed, and it’s been getting worse for years.  You’ve seen more terrible stuff than you should’ve and… well you do your job very well and bring a lot of families peace with dealin’ out some justice, but focusing your whole life on murder cases isn’t healthy, especially after your time overseas.  You just gotta do something for yourself for a change.”  

Natsu tried to interrupt, but Gray just kept trucking.  “You go to church every Sunday, which is an _amazing_ start, but you have to get out there and make something more of yourself.  Take up this art, yoga, belly dancing, _I don’t care_ .   _Do_ something.  Even if you refuse to get a therapist or try dating, at least do something to get out of that dark head of yours.  Stop shutting the world out.  Maybe we don’t always get along, but you’re still my best friend and I still care and you can _talk to me_.”

At this, Natsu’s words of anger were choked off by the lump in his throat, and he could only lean against the counter, stare at the floor.  It was a while before Natsu could speak.  “I just need some more time.”

Gray nodded slowly.  “Alright.”  After examining his expression, Gray asked cautiously, “What did you do that was dumb?  It looked like a bit more than ‘no big deal’...”

Natsu felt heat seeping into his cheeks.  “It’s nothin’,” he said gruffly.

“Natsu.”  Gray was starting to grin.  “What did you do?”

And with another moan of frustration, it all came pouring out, “I was walkin’ by Wendy and Chelia and her brown eyes made me take a flower when I donated some money to them and then I went to the bar and saw this blonde girl in the cafe and she was _so beautiful_ and Mira said her name was Lucy-”

“ _Lucy-?!_ ”

“-and then Mira saw the rose that I had no idea what to do with and she pushed me out the door and made me give it to Lucy when she walked by except I’m stupid and I grabbed Lucy’s arm to stop her and she ninja’d me in the foot because she probably thought I was some crazy rapist or something and I creeped her out because I don’t know how to talk to a girl and then I went after her and basically shoved the flower into her hands and could barely speak and then I ran away and I never want to see her again because I’d want to stab myself in embarrassment and this is why I should never ever leave the flat because public me is a _disaster_.”

Natsu finally took a breath.  

The friends stared at each other for a moment, before they simultaneously burst out laughing.

Wiping tears from his eyes and coughing to breathe, Gray managed to say, “H-hey, at least you actually talked to a woman that wasn’t a homicidal maniac, eh?  Lucy’s awesome, and single.”

“Yeah, like she’s _totally_ gonna want to go out with the guy that grabbed her off the street _like_ a homicidal maniac.”

“You also gave her a rose,” Gray pointed out.  “Aww man… You finally thought a girl was attractive.  You should come hang out with her, Juvia and I or somethin’-”

“I meant what I said,” warned Natsu.  “I can’t see her again.  I’d dig my own grave and die on the spot.”

“You’re such a drama queen,” sighed Gray, shaking his head.  “Get some sleep; new case tomorrow.”

“Yeah.  Good night.”

“Good night.”

* * *

“This makes no sense,” Erza muttered the next day, staring down at the victim’s file.  “This boy had no troubles with his parents, friends, never been arrested… and yet he has a bullet in his head.”

Natsu stood on the other side, palms against the table.  “You interviewed the parents; what type were they?  Permissive, authoritarian…?”

“I’d say a bit too permissive,” said Erza, taking a sip from her coffee.  Her scarlet hair framed her tired face; Natsu wondered how long her Valentine’s date had been last night.  “Why?”

“Then of course it would seem like he had no troubles with them,” Natsu muttered, flipping a few pages.  “They’d never know enough about what he got up to when he wasn’t home.  He lived on the north side, where we busted the cartel location last month.  Surely some kids found a way to keep up the trade, and people would be more desperate for it.  I’d say ask more of his friends what he was up to--they’d probably know if he used or dealt in the past.  The autopsy did find traces of-”

“Hey guys!  We thought you could use some lunch, if you’d abandon your dead body photos for a few minutes.”

The voice that came from the elevator was terrifyingly familiar.  His fellow agents looked up and offered big grins in the direction of the voice, saying variations of, “Juvia!  Lucy!  Good to see ya!”

 _Lucy_.

 _Crap_.

“Oh my gosh,” Natsu whispered, eyes widening as he looked at Gray.  “ _Hide me_.”

“Grow some balls,” was his roommate’s only response.

Natsu was frozen as Gray, Erza, and his present friends in different departments, Jellal, Loke, Levy, and Laxus, wandered off to greet the girls.   _Please, please, please don’t let her see me_ , he prayed over and over.

“Hey… I know you.”

Damn his freakishly pink hair.

He turned slowly, grimacing.  “Uh, hi.”

She wasn’t scowling at him.  In fact, Lucy was wearing the most adorable smile.  “I wondered if I’d ever see you again.”

“Sorry,” fell out of his mouth before he could stop it.  “I-I’m really sorry about y-yesterday and um, ah… kill me,” he muttered the last part to himself, sliding a hand down his face.

Her laugh was like bells.  “Don’t be!  I’m sorry that I kinda… went all taekwondo on you.  Is your foot okay?”

“Fine,” he mumbled.  “I’ve had worse.”

“I can see that, as a cop.  But really, I’m sorry.”

“I-I don’t blame y-you,” Natsu said quickly.  “I’m glad you c-can defend yourself and I-I should’ve known better than to g-grab you like that.  Didn’t mean to freak you out-”

“Hey,” she said softly, stopping him up short by taking his hand.  “It’s okay.  And that rose… I’d had a pretty lonely week, so it really made my day.  Thank you.”

“N-no tr-oblem it’s oktay I um just-um-uh…”  Her smooth hand was too warm on his scarred one for him to continue speaking.  

Gray saved his life, clapping Natsu on the shoulder.  “This is Natsu, the roommate I told you about last time, Lucy.  He’s not usually this word vomity.”

“Small world,” she said with a grin.  She hadn’t let go of his hand.  “I should probably get to know you better, then.”

Natsu was pretty sure his face was matching his hair.  “U-uh, I-I…”

“Do you maybe wanna go see a movie sometime?  Or go for a drink?”  When Natsu stared straight ahead and didn’t respond, Lucy dropped his hand.  “Y-you don’t have to…”

Gray jumped in, “Oh, he’s not saying no.  You just kinda… broke him.”

“I dunno,” Loke sighed, sitting on the nearest desk.  “A gorgeous girl like Lucy could do a lot better, methinks.”

Natsu knew his friend was teasing, but couldn’t help but feel his heart drop.  Of course she could do better.  She was beautiful and sweet and had experience and could actually speak a full sentence to him.  Not to mention how she probably wouldn’t care to deal with his…  issues.  Natsu looked away from her and to the floor, swallowing.

Glaring, Gray pushed Loke off the desk.  “Dude, shut up.  Just because Natsu’s never _been_ on a date-”

“Gray, you are making it _so_ much worse,” Natsu groaned, hiding his face in his scarf.

Lucy raised her eyebrows.  “Really?  You’ve never…?”

Natsu didn’t look up over his scarf, shaking his head quickly.  Great.  Now she was fully aware of just how much of a loser he was.  Thanks, Gray.

“Well then,” Lucy said, voice still light and cheerful, “I guess I’ll just have to make your first the best one ever, won’t I?”

He peeked at her over his scarf.  Rolling her eyes, she pulled it down and stood on her toes to kiss his cheek.  His face burned and he made a rather undignified yelping sound.

She wore a smirk.  “So?  Whaddya say?”

“Uh gah.”

“That’s Natsu speak for ‘yes’,” translated Gray, pushing Natsu closer to Lucy.  “He’s free every night this week because we’ll force him out of this building to actually have a life other than finding murderers.  Would you like to see the new Star Wars with him and out to dinner?”

“I adore Star Wars,” Lucy said, clasping her hands.  “And the only places I’ve been around here are that cafe and Fairy Tail, so it would be great if he could show me some of the hot spots.”

“I-I love Star Wars too,” Natsu said, words falling out of his mouth as he felt his eyes brighten.  “Been watching them since I could walk and…”  Natsu flushed again.   _She didn’t_ ask _, you idiot_ , he told himself.  “Y-yeah, I kn-now some good food places…”

“Perfect!  Friday sound good?” Lucy asked, rocking on her heels as if excited.

Natsu cleared his throat and drew in a breath, trying to shove his anxiety aside.  “Th-that sounds awesome.”

“We can text about times…” Lucy suggested hesitantly.  “But I’d need your phone number.”

A pretty girl was asking for his phone number. _Slay me._ “U-uh… yeah um yeah if I could just…?”  He held out his hand so that he could enter the number into her contacts

She gave it to him after she typed in the password, and he made sure to add his last name as well.  “I’ll text you.  Maybe call,” she promised, tapping the corner of phone against her temple with a playful smile.  

The warmth that spread through him somehow made him shiver, and though Natsu thought he’d forgotten how, he smiled back.


	2. Part 2

“MPD! Hands where I can see ‘em!” Natsu shouted when Erza kicked the door down.  His squad poured into the broken down room, finding the dealers with packs of cocaine clutched right in their guilty hands.  Natsu’s gun was pointed at the leader’s head.

Erza, Gray, Jellal, and Loke grabbed the four lackeys.  The leader suddenly turned and swung a desperate punch in at Natsu’s stomach, which he blocked with two hands crossing over the man’s wrist.  Perhaps Natsu got a bit cocky, or so he thought when the surprise punch caught him right in the cheek. The leader grabbed a gun that he pointed at Natsu.

With a growl, Natsu disarmed the dealer with a blow to both sides of the his wrist before he twisted it behind his back.  Natsu shoved his knee into the man’s, causing him to trip forward and land in a squawking mess. The cuffs clicked around the criminal’s wrists as if they were right at home.  

“Nick Damocles, you are under arrest for the murder of James Clark and illegal drug trafficking,” Natsu told the man through gritted teeth.  He hauled Nick up with his arms clutched in a death grip. “You have the right to remain silent; anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law…”

The prisoners were immediately taken to the holding cells; it had taken merely minutes to confess, what with the overwhelming evidence that the team had dug up.  They gathered back at their desk spaces, sipping the coffee that Gray had brewed up. Natsu leaned against his desk, eyeing the paperwork for the case. His least favorite part.  But tonight…

“Alrighty!” Natsu said, sweeping up the stack of paper.  “I’ll do the report for this one. Now let’s get a new case!”

“Oh, there it is.”  Gray smirked over his coffee cup.  “It goes to me. Cough up.” He held out a hand in Erza’s direction, and she huffed before passing him ten dollars.  

Baffled, Natsu said, “There what is?”

“The Dragneel distraction-from-life technique!” Loke told him, chugging the rest of his own cup.  “It is an ancient art mastered by Natsu-kind.”

“Taking on a ridiculous, unnecessary workload to avoid something that’s bothering you,” Jellal more helpfully explained.  Unlike the amusement of the other men, he looked concerned. “What’s wrong, Natsu?”

“W-wrong?  Nothing’s  _ wrong _ ,” said with a snorting attempt at a laugh.  It ended up sounding more like a pig with constipation.

“So, tomorrow is Friday.  Half day of work,” Gray said lightly, eyes slewing over to his roommate.  

Natsu could feel the blood drain from his face.  “W-well d-duh. T-today is Thursday…”

“Which means  _ someone _ ,” Loke continued, leaning across the file cabinet that separated him from Natsu’s desk, “Has their very first  _ date _ tomorrow.”

“You know what?  On second thought, I think I’ll head home,” Natsu said in a strained voice.  

“You do need plenty of beauty sleep before a date,” Erza told him with a faint smile.

“Whatever,” he muttered back, tugging on his coat and tightening his scarf.  As if he was going to get a wink of sleep tonight.

Gray stood up straight as well.  “I guess I might as well go too. Goodnight, guys.  We did awesome today.”

The rest returned tired versions of “goodnight” and “bye” as Natsu walked out with his friend at his side.  Their flat was only a few blocks down, taking only minutes to walk and a bit extra when they stopped for some tantalizing chili dogs on the way home.  

As soon as they walked into the house, Natsu slumped to his room to get his pajamas before walking back out to ooze onto the couch.  Gray simply stripped down to his boxers; Natsu was too tired to complain; he just turned on the TV. His other hand gripped his phone tightly, and the thought of it made his his stomach boil.   _ Just answer, just answer, just answer... _

After flipping through channels on the TV for a few minutes, Gray snatched the remote and shut off the screen.  “Okay, has she texted you?”

Natsu finally let loose a breath, feeling as if he’d been holding it for hours.  “Yes. I have no idea what to say back but I don’t want it to seem like I’m ignoring her so I hope she assumes I’m at work but even you text Juvia at work so maybe she thinks I don’t want to take the time to talk to her or-!”

“Natsu.  Chill out.”  He snatched the phone from Natsu and opened the texts.  “Wow. I think this girl actually  _ likes _ you.  That’s weird.”

“Stop readin’ all of it!” Natsu growled, snatching it back.  

“Dude, I coached you through writing most of it,” snorted Gray, putting his hands behind his head.  “I know almost all of what it says. Now tell me the rest of what it says and how you were planning on responding.”

“U-uh, she says, _ I heard that the case this week was pretty depressing.  You okay?  _  And then she says, _ Sorry, dumb question.  You’ve been doing this for a long time, I’m sure you will be _ .  Then,  _ Oh no, that sounded like I don’t care.  Sorry I didn’t mean it that way!  _  And then, _ I’m sending way too many--this is embarrassing _ .”  

Natsu felt a small smile twitch on his warming face.

Gray gave a short laugh.  “Oh, relieve the poor girl of her misery.  Answer her! You’re gonna make her think she’s annoying you!”

Eyes widening, Natsu began to panic.  “B-but she’s not annoying me! She’s being really nice and cute and…” Natsu trailed off.

“Then  _ answer _ , you moron!” repeated Gray with a groan, smacking the back of Natsu’s head.  “Write something and show me what you said so I can edit it for stupid.”

Grumbling darkly at his roommate, Natsu thought for several agonizing moments before he hesitantly typed:

[ **I’m okay, thank you.  It wasn’t a dumb question.  It was nice of you to ask it’s totally okay.** ]

Gray took the phone and read the draft through narrowed eyes.  “You sound way too formal. And the last one is a run-on sentence; you know she’s an author.  She won’t like bad grammar and punctuation. And you need at least one smiley face.”

“How?” huffed Natsu, taking his phone back…

Only to have Gray steal it again.  “Just… here.”

[ **Don’t worry about it--it’s all cool!  Not dumb at all. :) I’m alright; it was sad but we made it through as a team.** ]

“There,” Gray said proudly, shoving the phone back at him.  “That’s how a dating veteran texts.”

Natsu wrinkled up his nose.  “This message sounds like  _ you _ mixed with total sap.  Not  _ me _ .  The girl is texting  _ me _ .”

“And you can’t get through a single text without freaking out and asking for advice!” retorted his friend.  “Ah, for the love of--just text her like you’d text me but with better grammar and no insults!”

“That would be a blank message.”

“Ash-head, I swear to-”

“Fine!  I’ll redo it.”

Tongue sticking out in concentration, Natsu tried again.

[ **Nah, you’re fine!  You’re nice to ask.  :) I’m fine--just tired.  How about you?** ]

“I’m sending it!” Natsu proclaimed, pressing send before he could think twice about it.  “Without showing you!”

“‘Atta boy,” Gray said, rolling his eyes.  “Like I said yesterday: just write what you’re thinking and send it right away.”

“Okay,” Natsu muttered, staring at the screen.  The little gray bubble popped up with the loading dots; she was writing back.

He watched in nervous anticipation until-

[ _ Oh good.  :) No problem.  I’m great, and a bit tired too.  I hope I’m not too tired for tomorrow.  ;) Got a whole night of geeking out planned with this total dork I met by nearly breaking his foot. _ ]

Natsu let himself grin, relax, and he typed back without reading it to Gray:

[ **He just thinks you’re badass for being able to nearly break his foot and happens to like badasses, I’m sure.** ]

After he’d sent it, Gray looked over his shoulder and gave a whistle.  “Well, that’s as close to flirting as I’ve ever seen you do. You might not screw this up.”

Before Natsu could hit him, Lucy wrote back:

[ _ Well I’m glad he likes badasses, then.  I really hope he likes book and anime nerds too. _ ]

[ **How could he not?  After all, being single gave him plenty of time to watch every episode of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood at least five times.** ]

Gray saw this one as well.  “Well there you go. You don’t even need my help, you idiot.  Talk nerdy to Lucy and she’ll never get bored.”

An hour later, Natsu continued to text her, Gray having fallen asleep on the couch.  At least, until he got the message, 

[ _ Crap, sorry, Natsu.  Apparently my laughing and loud dying cat noises are annoying my roommates and they say they’re going to forcefully take my phone in five minutes XD  I guess I do have to get my beauty sleep for tomorrow. Sweet dreams. :3 _ ]

He’d been following the ‘say whatever comes to mind first’ advice the whole time, which was probably why he found his fingers tapping out and sending,

[ **Dear Lord you’re cute.** ]

It was only a few seconds after he sent it that he realized what he’d just done.  And then he shrieked. Like a middle school girl.

“Gray!” he shouted, punching his flatmate in the arm.  “Shit, wake up, Gray! How do you delete a text on someone else’s phone?!”

Groaning and rubbing his arm, Gray sat up and glared.  “You  _ don’t _ .  What did you say?”

Slapping a hand over his face in embarrassment, Natsu held up the screen for his friend to see.

Gray gawked.  “O-oh. Well this escalated quickly.”

“IT WAS WHAT CAME TO MIND FIRST AND THAT’S WHAT YOU SAID TO SAY!”

“Calm down, Natsu,” Gray hissed.  “It’s not that bad! I mean, yeah, a little too fast, but it could’ve been a lot worse.  Just… what are you doing?”

“Apologizing,” Natsu muttered, frantically typing as he saw the gray bubble come up saying that she was trying to answer.

“Don’t apologize for calling a girl cute!”

[ **Crap I’m sorry that was too fast Gray told me to write what came to my mind first and that kind of happened sorry I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable forget I said anything please ugh sorry sorry!!!** ]

“Worst run on sentence  _ ever _ ,” Gray sighed.  “Grammar Nazi Lucy is gonna come down hard on that.”

Her typing loading bubble stopped, and then started again.  Along with Natsu’s heart. Finally, her message appeared.

[ _ Hahahaha, now THAT was cute.  It’s okay--don’t worry about it XD  It was sweet of you. >///< Thank you.  And thank Gray for me :P _ ]

After they both stared for a moment, Gray choked, “I can’t believe she didn’t act uncomfortable or criticize your grammar.  I think she  _ actually _ likes you.  And she hasn’t even been on a date with you yet.”

Heat was invading Natsu’s face.  “Y-you really think so?” he asked quietly.

Gray smirked.  “Yep. Now answer her before Levy takes her phone away.”

With a nod, Natsu typed back, 

[ **Oh thank God.  Sorry, I’ll try to be less word vomity.  Thanks and Gray smirking like an idiot.** ]

[ _ Nah, you don’t need to try; it’s adorable.  You’re welcome, and I’ll smack the smirk off of him later.  :P Goodnight, Natsu. :) _ ]

“Oh my gosh,” Natsu whispered.  “She called me adorable. I don’t know what to do.  Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Am I dying?”

“Well, you sure are killin’ me.  Stop being a drama queen and say goodnight so that we can both get some sleep,” Gray told him grumpily.

[ **Thank you >///< Goodnight, Lucy.  :)** ]

“Can’t believe I’m saying this, but well done, padawan,” Gray said, before giving a short wave and slouching off to his room.

With a triumphant burn in his chest, Natsu followed suit.

 

\--

 

“I’m gonna die,” Natsu stated simply while staring at his blank papers the next morning.

Gray turned his baggy eyes to Natsu.  “You’re gonna  _ shut up _ .”

“Hush, Gray,” Erza said, scribbling on one page of the report they’d split.  “You should be supporting your friend in this difficult time.”

“What do you think I was doin’ ‘till one in the mornin’?” Gray murmured, tipping his third mug of coffee into his mouth.  

“You’ll be fine, Natsu,” Jellal said with an encouraging smile.  “It’s nerve wracking at first, but Lucy is easy to be around.”

Natsu couldn’t find it in him to say more; he was doomed either way.

He suspected he was more tired than Gray, having stayed up most of the night staring at the ceiling.  But his nerves kept him wide awake. 

_ What if I dissolve into a constant, stuttering mess?  What if she doesn’t like me as much as she does in text?  What if she never liked me at all and doesn’t even consider this a date?  What the hell do I do if she  _ does _ like me?  Why the hell would she like me in the first place?  What if she’s expecting a more fancy restaurant than I pick?  What if I mess up and she’ll never want a second date and then it’ll be awkward when I see her with my friends?  What if she tries to hold my hand? What do I talk to her about? _

“Oh crap… what the hell do I  _ wear _ ?” he whispered to himself with wide eyes.  This was it. His isolation-based social anxiety was going to give him a heart attack.  He was going to die right at this desk. Maybe he should send a text to Lucy telling her he’ll be in rigamortis and unavailable for a date, that she’s been wonderful but death will prevent him from coming.

“For the love of all things holy, Natsu!” shouted Gray suddenly, slamming down his hands on his desk.  Apparently he hadn’t been as quiet as he thought. “It won’t be that bad! You will be  _ fine _ .”

Natsu glanced around at his startled teammates and his annoyed one before looking back down at his hands.  “Sorry,” he said quietly, vowing to keep his mouth shut.

Loke gaped.  “He didn’t try to punch you.  Gray, you  _ broke _ him.”

“This is painful to watch,” came a drawling voice, and they looked up to see Laxus with his arms crossed and a faintly irritated expression.  “This is distracting your team; Natsu, just go home for today and try to get some sleep. You’re not gonna get anything done at this point.”

“N-no!” Natsu said quickly, picking his pen back up.  “I’ll do it! I’ll be quiet! I’ll finish every part of this week’s reports and take on that new robbery case-”

“Don’t use Dragneel distraction-from-life technique with me, kid.”

“Seriously?  Is this a coined term now?”

“Go home, Natsu.”

With a blazing glare and mutters of where Laxus should shove his baton, Natsu stood and threw his pen on the desk.  “Fine. Be assholes.” 

“Natsu-” Erza said regretfully, but he was already through the door.

 

\---

 

After a fitful, short sleep and a refrigerator raiding session, Natsu began to basically empty his entire closet and sparse dresser.  His bed was covered with ‘no’ and ‘I don’t know what I’m doing’ shirts.

Somehow, he just ended up sitting in the corner with his knees up, arms on top and head resting in them.  He was finding it rather hard to breathe and the world had started to spin in a way that was definitely unhealthy.  

It had been a while since he’d had a panic attack, and he was determined not to let it happen again because of a date.  A thing that everyone else had gotten through without a mental breakdown.

The thought of how utterly pathetic this was only made it… significantly worse.

With a groan, he ran his hands through his hair and gripped it, telling himself to calm down.  If millions of other people could do this, so could he! He’d fought terrorists and murderers and Laxus in the dojo!  Not that he’d necessarily come out physically fine after the last one, but he’d still survived. Lucy was nice and gentle and surely it would be like hanging out with a friend.

But other than time with is team at Fairy Tail… hell, he  _ didn’t _ hang out with friends other than his annoying roommate.  

“I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I’m gonna die…” he muttered over and over, feeling his throat close up and chest moving up and down too quickly and painfully.  

“Natsu?” he heard a kind, familiar voice say.  He hadn’t even heard someone come in, but a cool hand was laid on his shoulder.  “Calm down, Natsu; it will be okay. I’m here to help.”

He looked up and swallowed, cursing how stupid he looked right now.  Mirajane was indeed crouched in front of him, concern flickering in her eyes.  Wincing, he murmured. “I’m fine. Just taking a nap. You know. On the floor.”

A sad smile formed on her face.  “You don’t need to play tough for me.  I understand. C’mon, let’s get you up and get some water, okay?”

After she’d helped him up, Mira led him with a light hand to the kitchen, where she gestured to the cushiest chair and rummaged around for a glass.  “You’re very brave for doing this, you know,” she told him while filling a cup from the sink.

Natsu gave a derisive snort.  “Oh, sure. Freaking out about doing something that most people did totally normally as teenagers.  Real brave and badass.”

“What’s easy for some people is hell for others,” Mira told him firmly, setting the glass in before him.  “You haven’t been exposed to this kind of interaction before.”

“Mira, I’ve been a mess this  _ entire week _ .”  His jaw tightened.  “It’s ridiculous. Everyone else thinks so, too.”

“Well I’m smarter than everyone else, and I think it’s perfectly reasonable,” Mira told him when she sat beside him.  “You’re going to be nervous either way, but try to remember that Lucy is just a person. She’s not immaculate or a mountain to climb.  You’re an amazing guy and it’ll work out. Now drink that water and let’s pick out some clothes.” She began to instinctively clean up the kitchen.  “It was Laxus that called me up to come over, by the way. He and your team were worried about you.”

Natsu shook his head, hiding a wry smile.  “Morons.”

Eventually, Mira managed to force him into a black shirt, red jacket, one of his non-ripped pairs of whitewash, black jeans, Converse, obviously along with his scarf.

“Really?” he said, twisting his hands together as he looked in the mirror.  “This isn’t too casual?”

“Nope--you look hot!  Now let me fix up your hair; it got messy from your nap…”

In all too short of a time, it was five thirty.  Time to head out if he was going to pick her up on time.  But he was standing at the door, staring at it uncomprehendingly while checking his pockets for the tenth time to make sure he had his phone and wallet.  “Thanks for all your help, Mira,” he said, voice smaller than he wanted it. 

“Anytime, Natsu,” she said, then tapped his back.  “Now get going.”

He took a deep breath.   _ I can do this. _  “Okay.  I’m going.  I’m going now.”

“Yes you are.”

“Totally leaving.”

“Yep.”

“I’m gonna walk out this door.”

“Uh huh.”

“And go to Lucy, Levy, and Juvia’s place.”

“That’s right.”

“I’m gonna do it like a badass.”

“You’re going to be great.”

“I’m gonna be perfectly calm and chill.”

“Yes, you’re going to have fun.  Now GO!”

She pushed Natsu out the door and shut it behind him.  Rolling his shoulders and stretching his arms, he gave a stiff nod before turning and walking down the hall, towards the stairs.

It took fifteen minutes to walk to Lucy’s place; she’d discussed how she was fine walking around the city, since everything was so close.  It was a cute, brick apartment complex with flowers bursting from boxes and decorations hanging from each terrace. He’d been to the place a few times a few years ago, before the ninth wheeling had gotten too awkward.  He wandered inside to the right door, which displayed a cute little chalkboard decorated with flowers and  _ Levy, Juvia, and Lucy’s Home -- Welcome! _

Natsu raised his hand to knock, and then froze.  It was as if his arm had iced over and it would never move again.

_ Come on, just do it! _ Rational Natsu urged.

_ What do I say? _ Anxiety Natsu said.

_ How about hi?  And a compliment?  You’ll figure it out; just knock! _

Natsu gritted his teeth, shaking his head.   _ What do I do if she’s dressed more fancy?  Crap, is she expecting flowers? That happens in movies sometimes.  Was I supposed to get flowers?! _

_ Well, too late now!  Mira probably would’ve told you to bring flowers if you were supposed to.  Go!  _ Rational Natsu countered. 

But Anxiety Natsu wouldn’t shut up.   _ She won’t even like me!  She’s a goddess! I shouldn’t have agreed to this!   _

_ You only believe in one God, you idiot.  Like Mira said, she’s just a person. Don’t you want her to treat you like a normal person? _ argued Rational Natsu.

_ I’m not a normal person.  A normal person would’ve knocked already.  I’m a hermit loser. _

But the other part of him decided to punch Anxiety Natsu in the face.   _ You are a confident badass that has been in multiple battles and survived watching your adoptive father die.  Igneel would want you to suck it up and go on a date. So embrace the badass and knock on the damn door. _

“Okay,” Natsu muttered, taking a deep breath and rapping his fist on the door thrice before he could think about it.

There was whispering that sounded a lot like Levy and Juvia, and the pounding of small, bare footsteps.  Natsu clenched his hands in his pockets, trying to breathe as normally as possible.

The door opened soon, sure enough revealing Levy and Juvia’s blue-haired heads.  “Hi, Natsu!” they chorused.

He tried to smile.  “H-hi. Um, I believe your roommate reserved me for tonight?”

“She did!” Levy giggled.  “I know because she hasn’t shut up about you all week!”

“Juvia is very happy for Natsu and Lucy,” she said, clapping her hands together as they opened the door more widely.  “Perhaps they can find love nearly as strong as Gray’s and Juvia’s!”

Natsu choked.  “L-let’s not… get ahead of ourselves, here…”

Levy elbowed her friend.  “You’re scaring him! Poor boy is already white as a sheet!”

“I’m actually mostly Filipino.” 

At that, Levy gave out a laugh.  “Oh man, it’s been a while since I heard you make a joke!  This is amazing! Here, I’ll go get her; she was kind of dissecting her entire closet all afternoon.”

Natsu raised his eyebrows.  “Her too?”

“Aw, Natsu, worried about what to wear?” Juvia cooed.  

“N-no!”

“Mira picked that outfit, didn’t she?”

“...maybe.”

“Hi, Natsu.”

Natsu swallowed thickly, unable to answer.  Lucy was smiling when she walked up, golden hair curled under her white hat and large, white sweater over skinny jeans with a blue scarf and brown boots that matched her jacket. Most of all, matching her eyes.

Clearing his throat, he managed a high, “H-hey.  Y-you look… really…”  _ Damn it, Natsu--speak! _  “Really nice.”

_ There you go.  Nailed it. _

“You too,” she told him, shifting her feet, but then she frowned.  “Except…”

_ Oh crap, what’s wrong?  _ Natsu thought frantically.

But she only reached up and touched his face lightly.  His skin burned where her fingers had brushed. “What happened?”

He blinked at her in confusion.  “Huh?”

“You have a bad bruise right here.”

Oh damn.  Of course.  That guy he arrested yesterday.  He’d totally forgotten, and everyone that knew him was likely so used to him being black and blue that they hadn’t thought to mention…

He tried to laugh it off.  “O-oh, just a stupid drug dealer.  I should’ve seen the hit coming; it was dumb.  It’s fine.”

“Did you ice it?” she asked worriedly, glancing back toward her kitchen.

“Really, it’s not a big deal,” he said hurriedly.  “It’s nothin’. I-It’ll be gone in a few days. Um, so, you wanna…?”

With hesitation as if she wanted to run and grab an ice pack, she eventually nodded.  “Okay, if you’re sure.”

“I am.”

 

\---

 

Luckily, the movie theater wasn’t far.  The small talk didn’t last long, and the movie would likely give them something to discuss afterward, or so Natsu hoped.

His hopes proved true; once they’d left the theater, it was as if neither could contain their excitement.

“Millennium Falcon, best part for sure,” Lucy said firmly, eyes aglow.  “Do you think Rey is Luke’s daughter?”

“Probably!” Natsu said, gripping his scarf.  “The lightsaber has only called to those family members.  Speaking of, Kylo Ren’s saber was hella weird.”

“Yeah, it was all jagged and he probably made it wrong.  He was a total whiny teenager.”

“Which villain isn’t, eh?” Natsu sniggered.  “Most of the guys I arrest feel wronged and victims of humanity or whatever, as if the world owes them something.  That attitude never gets them far.”

“They sound annoying,” Lucy agreed, wrinkling up her nose.  She had a small nose, delicate and perfect. Natsu closed his eyes quickly and shook his head.  Thinking about her  _ nose _ ?  Now that was stupid.

They were coming close to the restaurant now, a small Italian place on the seaside that wasn’t too fancy, but still classy.  Gray had agreed that it would be the best choice. And had nagged Natsu until he made reservations. Stopping in front of the place, Lucy looked up curiously.  “Oh, Italian! My favorite.”

“Really?”  Natsu breathed out in relief.  “Oh, good. Um, yeah, we should have a table reserved…”

Her easily happy look was directed at him, causing his attempt at being normal to falter.  “You made reservations?” 

“W-well y-yeah.”  He scratched the back of his neck.  Had other guys not made reservations for her or something?  Was it lame?

But she only continued to look happy about it, so he took that as not lame and opened the door for her, as previously instructed by his roommate.  The reserved table was by the far window, so they could see the waves gently ripple in the moonlight. 

He remembered at the last minute that Gray had told him to pull out her chair, so he rushed to do so.  She gave a gracious “Thank you” and sat down with the menu.  She asked for suggestions, which he tried to give without too much stammering.  It helped if Natsu thought of tonight as a battle; he fought to keep himself calm and collected, fought to keep Lucy with a smile on her face even if it kept making his heart do weird things whenever he saw it.

Maybe she was just weird.  But that wasn’t bad.

The food came fast, and he tried to keep his eating slow and not like a slob, as Mira had drilled into him just that afternoon.  He tried to let glorious food distract him from how gorgeous she looked trailing her finger around the top of her wine glass and leaning forward to start a new conversation.  Natsu tried to respond without sounding stupid, really, but his mouth didn’t want to do that right.

It became easier after the dinner, when Lucy paid and got cones of gelato for them to eat along the plank trail across the shore.  They both finished the ice cream quickly, and Lucy came to a halt at an outcropping of the boardwalk, leaning against the rail and staring out to the stars.  

The stars gave her face an ethereal sheen, like she was born to be shown in the light of them.  Maybe it was because he was so focused on how the water reflected glowing patterns across her cheeks or how her hair seemed to flow with the waves that he didn’t realize Lucy was saying his name.

“S-sorry,” he managed, wincing and propping an arm up on the wood railing to hide his face.  “Yes?”

“It’s no problem.”  He could feel her gaze on him, examining. “So, I got calls from Erza, Gray, Loke, Jellal, Mira, and even Laxus today.  And somehow Levy’s boyfriend found out too and called me.”

Natsu’s eyes grew wide in horror.

“They said you’d been a bit… nervous.  That I should go easy on you.”

Instantly, he slammed his head down on the wood.  “Ah  _ shit _ .”  He winced again.  “Sorry. Excuse the language.”

“It’s okay!” she laughed.  “I was just… do I really make you that nervous?  You have been a little jumpy tonight; I know you were rather shocked when I first asked you, but...”

A million thoughts raced through his mind at once.  “No!” he denied right away. “N-no, not you, just… I mean, yes, but not… Not in a bad… ugh.”  He set his head back down on the rail. “How much did they tell you?”

He almost thought he could see her cheeks darken in the moonlight.  “Quite a bit…”

Natsu buried his face in his hands.  “Kill me.”

“Well, then I wouldn’t be able to go out with you again,” Lucy sighed, placing a warm hand on his back.  He stopped breathing. 

Unable to help himself, he said quietly, without looking at her, “You’d… you’d want to?”

“Of course.”

“B-but Lucy, I’ve been a mess!” he burst, gripping his hair.  “I-I’ve been freaking out about it for a week, I’ve needed Gray to coach me through most of the texting, I nearly had a mental breakdown trying to pick out clothes, I didn’t realize I probably should’ve brought flowers until I got to your door, I could hardly keep a conversation going right unless it was totally nerdy or weeaboo or about police work, I have no clue how to flirt, I didn’t have the guts to talk to you in the first place and couldn’t give you a rose without freaking you out and now I’m ranting like a psycho-”

“Natsu-”

“A-and yeah, I mean, you do make me nervous, but I’m not uncomfortable; I just don’t wanna screw up but I have no idea how to do any of this stuff and you’re so beautiful and amazing and I want to know everything about you but I’ve never been on a date before and I haven’t hung out with someone one on one other than living with Gray for years and you’ll probably just think I’m a loser but that sounds really dumb when I say it ‘cause I’m not really a loser I just don’t know what I’m doing.”  When he’d finished, he breathed out shallowly before slapping his forehead. “Ugh, word vomit again.”

Her hand was rubbing soothing circles between his shoulderblades, both relaxing him and lighting him on fire, and he felt like even more of an idiot; what kind of moron needs to be comforted on his first date?

“Natsu,” she said again, and he was astonished to see a smile still shining on her face.  “That all just shows me that you really care about this, and that even though it was really hard for you to get yourself to go out, you did it anyway.  That’s what matters most to me. I just… I don’t want you to feel like you have to impress me, or that you have to be perfect or good at this to make me not hate you.  I just… I just want to spend time with you.”

Natsu finally met her eyes, seeing her look shy for a change.  She took her hand away, leaning on her hip against the railing to face him.  But Lucy looked away when she told him, “I can’t really explain it, exactly. Your smile makes me happy and you seem so genuine.  Ever since you first handed me that rose, I’ve wanted to know more about you. I want to spend time with you; you don’t need to be good at romance or all smooth… just be you.  I’d really like it if you’d just… hang out with me, you know?”

Natsu’s breathing calmed, and he rubbed a hand across the back of his neck.  “I… I’d like that too. I’d really like that. I’m sorry that I got so freaked out…”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I’m just really not used to… I mean, if I were my seventeen-year-old self maybe… I’d be a bit more fun,” he laughed dryly.  

She put her cheek in her hand, smile never leaving.  “Well, you’re fun now, so it sure would be interesting to see a seventeen-year-old Natsu.  How were you different?”

He copied her position, facing her on the boardwalk.  “Well… I was more energetic, I guess. Optimistic and loud.  Happy.”

“And what changed?”  Her voice was quiet.

Natsu’s jaw clenched slightly, but he told her, “I dunno… I wanted to be a cop like my dad, especially after he died.  But I wanted to serve in the Marines like he did, first. I served a few years. Saw some stuff that I never really wanted to.  I shouldn’t let it get to me… but then I came home and all my friends had gone on with their lives, fallen in love… and I didn’t really know how to do any of that.  Kinda got… stuck.”

Electricity seemed to shoot up his arms and warm his body when he felt her fingers entwine with his.  “Well I think you’ve got a pretty good start at getting unstuck.”

She was much closer than before.  “I think so,” he whispered back, staring down at their hands.  He liked how she hadn’t said ‘sorry’ about his dad.

“I think I get what you mean,” she confided.  “When my mom died and my dad kinda… withdrew, I did everything I could to be an author, because my mom said to follow my dreams and the like.  I made some friends, but I was so focused and drifted away from them… I moved here to get a new start. Back then, these friends really showed me how to live, how to love.  I came here because I just came to a point in my life where all I can see is time passing by and no way to stop and appreciate it.”

“Yeah.  Yeah that’s exactly… yeah.”

Her eyes traced his face curiously.  “They really love you, you know. Our friends.  They won’t stop talking to me about you and what a good person you are.”

“No pressure,” he muttered, and Lucy laughed.

“They really want you to be happy,” she went on.  “I don’t think they moved on as much as you thought without you, Natsu.  You not being here before and not being yourself now puts a hole in  _ their _ heart; not only yours.  You’re a part of them.”

Her words seemed to numb his body and warm it at the same time, and for once, he looked into her earnest eyes steadily.  “I think they feel the same about you.”

Her chocolate eyes brightened.

“Well, there we go,” she said, voice lightening considerably.  “One more thing we have in common, eh? We’re on a roll.”

Natsu shifted his feet.  She was still holding his hands, but he didn’t want to let go.  “Uh, that’s good, right?”

“Very good.”

The thought of things in common made him feel more relaxed.  Like he was with a friend. A very good friend that he was romantically interested in and sexually attracted to.  “Like, I think we both are... into Star Wars, Fullmetal Alchemist, Italian food, being badass, the same friends, we’re both dead inside, and have awesome pairs of jeans so far…”

She laughed, and he found himself smiling along, finally releasing one of her hands to rub his face.

“Why do you do that?” she said in a slightly scolding tone, reaching up to pull back his wrist.  “You hide your face when you smile.”

He blinked.  “Really?”

“Yes.  You got something against smiling?”

“No, I just…”  He looked away grinning down into his scarf.

“You’re doing it again!” Lucy laughed, leaning in to pull down his scarf.  “Don’t hide it; I like it when you smile.”

His face was too hot.  “I-I just… it feels weird!”

“Smiling feels weird?”

“You make me feel weird.  You’re weird.”

She raised an eyebrow.  “Oh, the guy with pink hair is calling  _ me _ weird?”

Natsu narrowed his eyes.  “Ah, the pink hair jabs! It was only a matter of time.  It’s  _ natural _ .  I have embraced my pinkness!”

“I guess it could be worse.  Could’ve been born with a pukey orange or green, or purple.”

“See?  Pink works!  Purple wouldn’t match my complexion.”  He tried to flip his hair, earning no results except for a fit of laughter.

“Am I meeting Seventeen-Year-Old Natsu?” asked Lucy, smirking up at him.

“Probably because I just realized you’re weirder than him.”

Raising her eyebrows in amusement, she admitted, “Well, this is the first time that a guy has ever called me weird on a first date.”

Anxiety Natsu popped up momentarily, but for once, was pushed aside before it could speak.  “Considering how none of them worked out, I’m gonna guess it’s a good start.”

“Weirdly, yes.”

“I guess winging it is working,” he murmured, not hiding his smile anymore.

“I think that might be the title of my autobiography.”

He laughed, which turned into a loud snort, and he instantly covered his mouth.  “Damn it,” he groaned, but that only made her burst out laughing as well. 

Watching her made his chest warm, and a sudden thought crossed his mind for the first time ever:

_ I want to kiss her. _

Swallowing, he quickly looked out to the water.  If he didn’t look at her, maybe the thought would go away.  As far as he’d heard from his friends at their guy bar nights, you weren’t supposed to think those things on a first date.

She turned copy his position, leaning over the rail once more and looking upward.  Deciding it was time for him to start a conversation without losing his mind, he began, “You look at the stars a lot.”

For a moment, he thought he’d said something really dumb, but she nodded.  “My mom taught me all the constellations when I was little, and their stories.  Sometimes she’d make them up completely; it’s what gave me imagination, I think.  My love for stories.”

Natsu hesitated, and then said, “My dad always said that they helped him, too.  Igneel always said some sappy stuff that I didn’t understand until later. He said that they reminded him how even if life got dark and cloudy, the stars were always there, whether or not he could see them.  He just had to keep faith, because good always stayed exactly where it was. He also said that though the stars didn’t have control over when they get to shine on him, he was powerful because he could choose to always shine for others.”

He felt her eyes on him like one the breeze brushing against his face.  She then recited like a song:

“ _ ‘And steadfast as Keats’ Eremite _

_ Not even stooping from its sphere _

_ It asks a little of us here _

_ It asks of us a certain height _

_ For when at times the mob is swayed _

_ To carry praise or blame too far _

_ We may choose something like a star _

_ To stay our minds on _

_ And be stayed.’” _

Natsu didn’t know exactly what the words meant, but the rhythm and tone of which they were spoken was still captivating.  “What was that?”

“A section of a poem by Robert Frost.  What you said reminded me of it.” Her brown eyes were content.  “Just talking about how to remain firm in yourself, not putting your faith something that can change, like a person or group, but in something like a star.”

Natsu stared.  

She glanced up and back down.  “Sorry. Rambling about literature again.”

“No!” he interjected immediately.  “No, I wasn’t annoyed or something.  I was just thinking about what you said while having the intense realization that intelligence is really sexy.”

Lucy stared.

His eyes widened.  “Oh crap. That has to be the worst word vomit yet.”

And then she was laughing harder than ever, and he was stammering, “S-sorry!  Agh, the text and now this? That sounded so stupid but it just kind of-”

“You’re such a dork,” she choked, putting a hand to her forehead.  “Such a… Please never change.”

“Well that is definitely the first time someone has ever told me not to change,” Natsu sniggered.  “But for this situation, I think I’d rather revert back to Seventeen-Year-Old Natsu as apparently I can do now…”  Natsu pretended to concentrate, and then stood up straight, and told her jokingly, “Okay, I’m not embarrassed anymore.  I’m completely oblivious to all impropriety of social interaction, have confidence enough to get me into really stupid situations that I will get lectured on later and then resume doing afterwards, am always comfortable with everything, and speak exactly what I’m thinking at all times without regret!”

“Oh really?”  She turned to face him, grin mischievous.  “And what are you thinking right now?”

“I want to kiss you.”

They both froze.   _ Crap _ .  Natsu said in a quiet voice several octaves higher than usual, “Oh look!  Anxiety Natsu is back.”

“Natsu-”

“Way to screw me over, Seventeen-Year-Old Natsu-” Natsu growled to himself.

Lucy bonked him on the head with a small fist.  “Hey. Stop that and come here.”

“Huh?  O-oh…”

His ability to speak was thankfully cut off by her smooth hands winding into his and how she was mere millimeters away.  Lucy looked up, and he understood; she’d only do it if he was comfortable, and met her halfway.

He found himself agreeing with Mira’s earlier statement of his bravery; Natsu had run into firefights, had guns at his head and knives at his throat, but he’d never felt more courageous than when he pushed away every doubt and insecurity screaming at him and kissed her.

Not, of course, that he really knew what he was doing.  But apparently he was doing something right, because then she was kissing him again, and gripping his scarf, and he was holding her waist and her face, and her mouth was moving slowly against his, and it was like fresh air after a decade of being trapped in the prison of his mind because now all that was on his mind was  _ her _ and the smell of cherryblossoms on her  _ skin _ and the smoothness of her  _ hair _ running through his fingers and the way she was pulling him  _ closer _ and how he couldn’t get  _ close enough _ and the sound of the  _ waves _ and  _ starlight… _

Thirty minutes later, they stood outside Lucy’s door.  He was pretty sure he still had that ridiculous grin on his face, and in the light of the hallway, he could finally see that her cheeks were far too red to be caused by chill alone.

“Tonight was amazing,” she told him, her hands clasped together.  

“Yeah,” Natsu said, still a bit drunk on life.  “Really awesome. I… I had fun.” The words were foreign in his mouth. 

“Would you like to… maybe have fun aga-”

“Wait,” he stopped her, drawing himself up.  “I’m gonna ask you this time.”

A smile played on her lips.  “Alright. Ask away.”

Without a stutter, he said, “Are you free tomorrow?”

“I am.”

“Would you like to meet me for coffee at that cafe across from Fairy Tail?  Maybe breakfast and a walk in the park and around town?”

“I would like that very much.  Eleven?”

He breathed out, nodding in a daze.  Natsu was already afraid that he’d wake up and this would all be a fantastically imaginative and wishful dream.  “Good. Awesome. Yes. Okay. Um. I’m gonna… go home now. And try to sleep. And wait until tomorrow.”

“Well, it’s usually polite to say goodnight to me first.”

“Oh!  Yes. Yeah.  I was going to… yeah.”  He scratched the back of his neck bashfully, then smiled down at her.  Not that he could stop smiling. “Goodnight, Lucy.”

All she did was kiss him once more before she disappeared into the apartment.

Natsu walked out of the building feeling like a fuzzy cloud was floating around his head--a cloud filled with numb happiness and Lucy.  It wasn’t until he was on the sidewalk when he let out a loud whoop, jumping onto the nearest street lamp, spinning around it, and running home as fast as he could shouting something akin to, “ _ YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH! _ ”

The flat was quiet when he shut the door behind him.  He leaned his back against the wall, staring at the opposite end of the kitchen.

As if not to spook him, Gray crept around the corner.  Apparently having taken in Natsu’s immense state of zoning out, he asked tentatively, “...so?  How… did it go?”

Natsu slid to the floor slowly and let his head fall back against the wall.

Gray took a few steps closer.  “Oh no. Is that bad? Is that-

Feeling the big, stupid grin coming back, Natsu dropped his head into his hands and began to laugh.

His roommate seemed frightened.  “Uh, is this laughing at the cruelty of the universe or is it…?”

_ You hide your face when you smile.  Don’t hide it! _

Natsu took his hands away and made the wall his headrest again.  He was closing his eyes, wondering if cutting off his vision could help him savor the sights of earlier in the night.

“Good?” Gray said hopefully.  “Holy shit, you’re smiling. You’re actually-- guys!  He’s smiling!”

There was a sound rather like a stampede, and Natsu opened his eyes to see that Laxus, Jellal, Loke, and even Gajeel Redfox had flooded into the kitchen.  

“The hell are you all doing here?” Natsu laughed.  He couldn’t be angry. He may have forgotten how for the night.

Gray shifted his feet, looking away pointedly.  “O-oh. We just decided to have a guy’s night. Sleepover thingie.  For no particular reason. We were free, and our girlfriends are all at the girls’ apartment, so… yeah.”

Natsu had never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he could often speak Gray.  That had just translated to, “ _ We wanted to support you if this turned out well or in case it turned to shit. _ ”

“And,” Loke continued, shooting Gray a glare, “to apologize for teasing and getting annoyed at you earlier.  We knew this would be hard for you, but probably didn’t realize exactly how hard until you left today all pissed off.”

Laxus, the forever brutally honest one, shrugged and added, “And some didn’t realize until my girl cussed us out for contributing to how freaked out you were.”

“Mira is terrifying,” Gajeel felt he needed to say.  “And Levy told me you looked pale as no-nose-Voldemort when you showed up at the door.”

Before Natsu could retort to that one, Jellal spoke, “We’re proud of you for doing this, and I’m assuming it went well?”

Natsu nodded.  “It was amazing.  Thanks for being assholes enough to make me go.”

“Well, being an ass to you is my specialty, so I’m gonna take a moment to appreciate the thanks for that.”  Gray stopped, holding up his hands and closing his eyes. Then he reverted back to normal position. “Okay. Moment taken.  Now enough about women and let’s get out the Mario Kart!”

Sitting and laughing with his friends, Natsu felt for the first time in a long time that… it was all going to be  _ okay _ .

Even when Natsu woke up in the morning to find that his friends had each posted pictures of his stupid grin from last night on Instagram for the world and Lucy to see.

It really was all going to be okay.  Especially after he would break their phones and necks.


End file.
